I don’t even know what to say here anymore

It’s been almost a year since my last post.

In that time I lost my job, spent 6+ months hiding from the world, started freelancing again, and now am fairly stable mentally.

I say stable but it’s a relative stable. Not compared to a normal person stable but compared to me last fall considering my psychiatrist’s suggestion to be an in-patient.

Gabe will be 2 in a month. The terrible twos started early. The saying that toddlers are little insane people is totally true. It’s trying to deal with, but he’s adorable and has my eyes. He has beautiful red-blonde hair that everyone comments on.

Life is not miserable, but it is not happy. And always feels like I’m watching it from the outside.