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You’ve never referred to Philadelphia as anything but “Philly.” And New
Jersey has always been “Jersey.” [I often call Philly "Philly" but I never call New Jersey "Jersey"]
You refer to Pennsylvania as “PA.” [If I'm typing I do]
“You guys” is a perfectly acceptable reference to a group of men & women. [and to a group of just women]
You know how to respond to the question “Djeetyet?” (Didyoueatyet?)
You learned to pronounce Bryn Mawr, Wilkes-Barre, Schuylkill, Bala Cynwyd, Duquesne, New Tripoli, Tunkhannock, Punxsutawney, Tamaqua, Susquehanna, Allegheny, and Monongahela. [I've only heard of 6 of them...brin mar, wilks bar, school-kill, pucks-a-tawny, sus-kwah-hanna, al-a-gainy]
You know what a “Mummer” is, and are disappointed if you can’t catch at least
highlights of the parade.
You own only three condiments “A-1, Heinz 57 and Heinz ketchup”.
Words like “hoagie”, “crick”, “chipped ham”, “sticky buns”, “shoo-fly pie”,
“pierogies” and “pocketbook” actually mean something to you. [mom always says pocketbook]
One of the highlights of your life was a field trip to Penn’s Cave and Horseshoe curve. [actually, that's pretty much the only cave in most of PA and VA I haven't been to...but I always wanted to]
You know exactly what to do when your mother tells you to “red up” your room.
You know the time and location of every “wing night” in a 20 mile radius. [not really on purpose...I hear and see them advertised all the time]
You don’t think people from Philly or Pittsburgh talk funny. [they talk funny?]
You don’t understand all the hype about Rolling Rock beer;
You’ve been drinking it for years even though Iron City is better.
You consider an exotic vacation to be a trip to Ocean City, Virginia Beach,
or Myrtle Beach. [this is only partly true...I considered Myrtle Beach to be one when I was a kid]
You think very little of an Amish buggy on the road. [I wouldn't say I think very little...I think 'how annoying']
You learned long ago how to “step carefully” around the buggy tie-ups in the
supermarket parking lot.
You can go 2 weeks in winter without sunshine and think this is normal. [it's not?]
You know that Blue Ball, Intercourse, Climax, Bird-in-Hand, Virginville,
Paradise, Mars, and Slippery Rock are all PA towns.
There is no such thing as a “Philly Cheesesteak”.
It’s just called a “Cheesesteak.”
You know that Eucre is a card game and not a form of vomiting.
Your turkey has “filling,” not “stuffing,” and most certainly, NOT “dressing.”
Know that Yuengling is pronounced “Ying-ling,” and believe
that it really is a premium beer [*]
You know that a green pepper is not a pepper at all but a “mango”.
You live within two miles of a plant that makes potato
chips, corn chips, pretzels, candy, or ice cream, or
that packages turkeys, beans, or bologna.
You know that chicken corn soup from a fire house is
the most nearly perfect food on earth.
You say things like, “Outen the lights,” “I’m calling
off today,” and “They’re calling for snow.”
You’ve heard of distelfinks and hex signs.
You know the Penn State cheer, and although you’ve
never attended Penn State, you are a most obnoxious
Penn State fan.
Hearing horses clopping down a paved street doesn’t
bring you to the window to see what’s going on outside.
You never see any Confederate Flags, except on the
Gettysburg Battlefield.
You have the Rolling Rock bottle memorized: “From the
glass lined tanks of Old Latrobe, we tender this premium
beer for your enjoyment. . . . ”
Elect pro-life Democrats and pro-choice Republicans
for Governor
Frequently go “with,” e.g., “You going to the market?
Mind if I come with?”
Refer to something as “a whole nother,” e.g., “That’s a
whole nother issue.”
You REALLY HATE antiquers. On Sunday mornings you would
scream “Go back to Jersey!” at least once on the way to church.
When you were a kid and somebody really pissed you
off, you said, “I’m gonna deck you!”
You know the expression, “Hey naw! Watchya dewin’?”
You know where to buy “Opera Fudge” and that it has
absolutely no connection to the Opera.
The only Jewish people that you’ve ever met have been
from New York or New Jersey. [very not true]
You love the Phillies (unless they stink) in which case
you love the Orioles (unless they stink) in which case
you solemnly swear that you’ve never even liked the
Phillies or the Orioles, but have always been a Penn
State fan.
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