From my online journal, written on July 31, 1999:
Did the captain of Titanic cry?
I heard that lyric in a song on the radio today. At least, I think that’s what it was. I just thought that was an interesting question. Did he? What was he thinking in the last minutes before the ship went down? How did he feel when he heard that an iceberg had hit the ship? These are things we’ll never know. There are lots of things we’ll never know. I’ll never get to know my cousin April. I’ll never know how she felt when she found out she had the HIV virus. She was about only 20 when she found out, I think. I never talked to her about it. I’ll be 20 in November. She lived for over 7 years with it. I didn’t find out until a year before she died. We had the same taste in so many things, yet I never really knew her. There are so many people in this world and so many we’ll never know. We’ll see them, but we’ll never know them. You won’t know the girl playing on a lawn down the street. You won’t know the woman at the grocery store checkout counter, or the annoying telemarketer that calls during dinner. In all honesty, you’ll never really know anyone. You won’t know your best friend or the person you marry. You won’t know how it feels to be them and live life through their view. You can know their favorite food, their favorite color, their most hidden fears; and yet, you won’t know them. No one can ever imagine what it’s like to be someone else; to walk in their shoes. You may think you know, but you don’t.
I see in journal sites people saying all the time, “you don’t know me so don’t judge me.” Never in life has knowing someone been required for someone to judge another person. People judge all the time without knowing the people they’re judging. But why? Is it their own insecureness? Their lack of self-confindence? What is it that makes people put down other people so readily? I suppose online journalers are an easy target. Here they are, putting all their thoughts and feelings up on the net for everyone to see. People may get the impression they know them. Yet even if they put up every single detail about what goes on in their lives and what they think about it; you don’t know them.