I’m falling apart…mentally, physically, and financially.
I changed my doctor’s appointment from next week to today. Went in, went for a chest x-ray, went back, had some blood drawn. The chest x-ray was normal. He’s very concerned about my difficulty breathing and my resting pulse of 145. He wants me to go back to a cardiologist asap, since something seems to be possibly dangerously wrong.
I have been pissed off and angry about EVERYTHING since stopping the Zoloft last month. I quite literally hate everyone in the world right now. I asked about a different antidepressant, since I can’t deal with going back on the Zoloft and the vivid disturbing dreams and night sweats. Plus, I’m out of refills. He said wait till we figure out what’s causing my other problems.
Top it off, our plumbing has stopped working (nothing will drain) for the fourth or so time since we’ve moved in here. It has something to do with how the plumbing was installed. To fix it, they have to redo the plumbing, which is going to be expensive.
We’re out of gas in the car and only have $4 in our checking account and $1 in our savings. We don’t get paid until Thursday. We’re almost out of food to eat. We can’t pay the electric bill or my (non-federal) student loan or our credit card bills. Our credit cards are maxed out. We’ve been fighting a lot with each other.
I can’t fall asleep each night until 5 am due to not being able to breath when laying down. They’re not happy with me at work because of my erratic schedule. We CAN’T afford for me to lose my job. We can’t afford things even with me working…but it would be much worse without my income.
I hate my life.