I wouldn’t say the doctor’s visit was very productive. He upped my Zoloft to 150mg a day, gave me a prescription for cream for my eyelids, and said there’s not much else he can do. He still thinks I’m possibly bipolar and should probably be on mood stablizers, but wants a psychiatrist to be the one to prescribe them. I can’t make an appointment with a psychiatrist though until I get my insurance cards so I know my member number so I can have the doctor’s office call to get approval first. And it will probably be awhile till the appointment since they’re usually really busy. It’s just so unfair and so frustrating.
I’ve unofficially given up on NaNoWriMo. I wrote about 4,000 words last week and that’s it. My moods and physical health are just too up and down. But that’s not the only reason. I do really want to write a novel someday, but I want to write a novel that’s good..not just babbling on about whatever to get to a word count. I know they say that most first drafts are awful anyway, but when I cross write a novel off my list of things to do before I die, I don’t want it to be a novel of 50,000 words of trash. And right now with my inability to think occuring quite often, all I can produce is trash.