I am a bad friend.

Seriously.

I was reading back through emails from years ago and there’s so many from people that I never kept in touch with. Some stopped writing to me, but many I stopped writing to them. I never call anyone. I never write anyone letters anymore.

I do email people, but it’s usually to talk about myself. I have to respond right away otherwise I’ll usually never respond. I don’t comment much on other people’s entries or sites. I don’t send presents or cards.

And I wonder why I don’t have many friends and no close ones. But I can’t blame people. I wouldn’t want to be my friend either since I’ve been too self-involved these past few years to be a good friend to someone. And as my social anxiety disorder gets worse, I retreat from people more and more. I bought the self-help books, now I just need to read and work through them.