I’m feeling very discouraged. There are still just no jobs I’m qualifed for in the papers. I tried calling one employment agency about two weeks ago, but they never returned my call to set up an appointment, so that really made me not want to use them. If I could work retail, I’m sure I could have a job again. There was an ad in the paper yesterday for people to work at a flower shop. It sounded nice, in theory. Then I realized you probably still have to stand and walk around a lot and I just can’t do that. It’s so frustrating. Plus I owe over a $1000 at least for physical therapy that didn’t even help, not to mention the other medical bills related to it. I don’t want to do something that will just make it even more worse.
I’m getting so annoyed at my mom. She keeps saying things like “I might just have to give in and get a retail job or a job on the phones”. This annoys me to no end. She *knows* I’ll be in pain during and after work if I do those things. She tells me things like “other people work while in pain” and things. Yeah, there’s probably many. But I can’t handle it. It affected my entire life. All I could do when I came home was lay on the couch in pain. It hurt just getting off the couch. Working was ruining my life outside work because I was in too much pain to do anything fun, like bowling or mini-golf. Or even things I had to do, like go to the store or do the laundry. And as for phone work and my TMJ, there’s no way I’m doing that. My jaw hasn’t been too bad for the most part for the past two years, I’m not doing to do something to risk it acting up again. When it’s bad, it’s bad.
It’s not just my hip that was in pain…it was my knees too and pretty much my entire legs. I don’t know if it all stems from my hip problem or what. I never had that kind of problem before, even when I was working retail full-time. It only was about a year since I had worked at the Book Market. I’m not *that* much older. Usually when you work a job like that if you’re not used to standing, after a few weeks you’re okay. But I just kept getting worse and worse. The first few weeks were actually the least pain-wise.
I know I need money. But I just can’t make myself go through that again.