I’ve been thinking lately about how pathetic and lonely my life would seem to a lot of people.
Part of the reason for this is that most of the other people at work (and all of the younger ones) talk about going out with their friends or with their boyfriends/husbands. Last Saturday night when I worked the one girl, whose a little younger than me, was talking about how her and her friends were going bowling after work. She said the other girl and I should drop by if we wanted. If she had asked me directly “do you want to come?” I might have. But it was a sort of a “yeah, it would be cool if you showed up but I don’t really care if you do or don’t” thing. Besides that, I was in no shape to go bowling after work that night. Laying on the couch was all that I could manage.
I hardly ever go out anywhere. I go out to eat with my parents sometime and Joe and I go places when we happen to have the same days off (rare) but that’s usually to run errands. And on the days I work, I’m useless the rest of the day. I don’t have any local friends. I only communicate with my non-local friends through email or comments. I still haven’t been using chat programs. I thought I’d have more time when I was done with Millersville, but I find I have less. Most of my time on the computer is spent doing homework.
I’m not unhappy though. I do wish Joe and I could go out more, but we’re hopefully going to the beach for a few days in August at least. After dealing with people all day at work, it’s nice to be alone most of the time. Local friends would be great of course, but I don’t have much hope for that. One night Joe and I plus some of his friends from his work might go out to a bar or something. I don’t know when though. He works so late most of the time (12 or 1) and bars close at 2. It would be fun, I think. I’m not much for drinking anymore though. I used to often have a glass of wine when I went out to eat but now I just don’t have any interest in drinking any kind of alcohol.