what to write

Sometimes the hardest part of maintaining a website is knowing what to write and what not to write. And not necessarily with regards to other people, but about yourself. I was reading back through my online journal, the first entries. There’s so much that I just forgot, little things Spencer used to do or the fact that I would eat two soft pretzels for dinner and think that normal (no wonder I didn’t weigh much). These are insignficant things to other people but they’re things I don’t want to forget. And I wonder how much of what I didn’t write down have I forgotten. One of my greatest fears is forgetting things or being forgotten. I don’t want either to ever happen.
I wrote in my latest DR entry about my classes but I didn’t write about how I was proud of myself for starting conversations with Dianne and Karl at school. Or for having an actual conversation with Jon. There’s just so much I don’t write down. And I can’t write down everything or I’d spend my entire life writing and never actually experience anything. So I’m forced to chose what to record and what not. And I sometimes wonder at my choices.

  • I understand completely what you mean. I always had trouble choosing what to write, and I think I left out some small details over the years that I’ve forgotten by now. I don’t want to be forgotten either, and the fact that my memory is all kinds of messed up right now is not making me very happy. one of the things that scares me the most is losing my mind, forgetting who I am and everything.

  • Man, I so agree. The tension between recording the wonderful (and even terrible) experiences that happen to as well as the little tiny things that thread together to make a life and then living that life. The desire to go out and make friends and the need to record who those friends are and how they’ve impacted you.

    At the end of my freshman year of college, I looked back in my journals for a high point to read to my floor, and found…nothing. No beautiful encapsulation of a life. I had lived this amazing year and felt that none of it was there on the pages before me. I never want that to happen again. From then on out, my motto became “eyes wide open.”

  • I know what you mean too. There’s a lot that I wish I had recorded, but I never think anything I say is important. I don’t know. I haven’t been able to make sense of anything these days, actually.

    (I still owe you an email! When I’m back at my place next I’ll send a reply :))

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