World View: The world values a champion. Avoid failure at all costs.
Basic Desire: to be admired
Basic Fear: of being rejected
The Achiever (the Three) A
chivers are energetic, optimistic, self-assured, and goal oriented.
How to Get Along with Me
* Leave me alone when I am doing my work.
* Give me honest, but not unduly critical or judgmental, feedback.
* Help me keep my environment harmonious and peaceful.
* Don’t burden me with negative emotions.
* Tell me you like being around me.
* Tell me when you’re proud of me or my accomplishments.
What I Like About Being a Three
* being optimistic, friendly, and upbeat
* providing well for my family
* being able to recover quickly from setbacks and to charge ahead to the next challenge
* staying informed, knowing what’s going on
* being competent and able to get things to work efficiently
* being able to motivate people
What’s Hard About Being a Three
* having to put up with inefficiency and incompetence
* the fear of not being — or of not being seen as — successful
* comparing myself to people who do things better
* struggling to hang on to my success
* putting on facades in order to impress people
* always being “on.” It’s exhausting.
Threes as Children Often
* work hard to receive appreciation for their accomplishments
* are well liked by other children and by adults
* are among the most capable and responsible children in their class or school
* are active in school government and clubs or are quietly busy working on their own projects
Threes as Parents
* are consistent, dependable, and loyal
* struggle between wanting to spend time with their children and wanting to get more work done
* expect their children to be responsible and organized
Healthy loop controlled by Basic Desire: Need to be admired -> self-improvement -> admired -> Need to be
admired In the healthy state, the need to be admired induces Type Threes to work hard to improve themselves and succeed, which often cause others round them to admire them. When Threes feel admired, the need is satisfied and a balance is reached. In the average state, when Threes’ are not working hard to improve themselves, others admire them less, which increases Threes’ need to be admired. Thus this helps Threes to again work hard to improve
themselves. Thus the balancing loop can help Threes to recover.
Unhealthy loop controlled by Basic Fear: Fear of being rejected -> compete -> admired -> Fear of being rejected In the unhealthy state, the basic fear of being rejected can cause Type Threes to be competitive and hostile towards others as a defense, which makes them even less admirable, and further increases Threes’ basic fear. The cycle continues to build up. Insight: We can see
from the diagram that a way to help break the control of the basic fear is to weaken the unhealthy loop. Threes can refrain from being competitive but focus on self-improvement instead. This will lead to genuine admiration from others and lessen the fear of rejection.